This movie, The Garden of Words was awesome for just one reason. It reminded me of the way I used to think when I was 17 years old. I was always in my head. My thoughts drifted with the clouds, high above the ground and always scanned for the future ahead.
I miss being 17. When I was 17 I had a family and tons of friends but I never felt like I belonged with them. I got along with older people because their lives excited me about my own future possibilities, and the people my age didn't quite care about the future...
It's weird but-the more you think about something, the less likely it happens. My life rule used to be, think about it, believe it, act towards it and it will happen. But I started caring so much, and started being so good at predicting my own future that somewhere along the way people became jealous and killed this life rule of mine.
Now it seems like the rule is don't think about it, don't plan ahead and eventually you will find yourself there and be able to enjoy the moment. If I think about it too much I don't end up enjoying the present.
And yet I remember being 17, feeling like an outcast and yet not really being as much of an outcast as I thought....but I do love being alone in my mind... I remember being in love with my mind then as well. I could silently sit in a corner, inside myself and stare at the thoughts whizzing past me. My own little world. I found freedom inside my mind and no one was ever able to enter it quite the way I do. I miss being free and I miss my state of mind. I don't think I can truly be Jennifer without this.
Also the movie reminded me of Charlie my ex-boyfriend. He reminded me of the immature male protagonist in the anime. The whole time I am thinking I wish I could sit around and do nothing, say nothing and only enjoy the company of a friendly person my age....Keyword: My age. Till I found out that the other protagonist, the teacher was way older than the kid and somehow they fell in love with each other....Eh. I remember being young but when I fell in love with my teacher I wasn't that young. I was like 19.
Idk. I was never much for emotional outbursts without directions. When I am volatile everyone knows why. I tell people and I give them warning signs before I explode. I don't just get angry and walk away and somehow hope that my lover will run after me because they care enough to become mind readers for my sake. It's great when people can be mind readers but you don't have to be in order to understand me because I tell you exactly how I feel and where I stand on issues and in life.
No. I am not like Charlie. I am not a volatile, immature child. I never was. I know now that what he needed was someone like the teacher in the movie but that's not really my personality. It's one thing to have one or two emotional outburst a month, but Charlie had them a few times a week. I wasn't raised in this manner. If I couldn't justify my emotions I would get a beating and a time-out. I wasn't allowed to just get angry because I felt angry. I had to have a reason. It also does not matter what state of mind I have and what psychiatry drugs I am on, I am still not allowed to have a random emotional break down just because I am affected by people, events and happenings around me. Those were never good reasons for outbursts in my family and in my world. My first love and my teacher understood this, but Charlie did not even though he stated he understood, he really didn't understand me.
So Idk about being able to fully empathize with the movie The Garden of Words. I feel like the movie is about a pubescent teen turning on the cusp of being an adult who has mommy issues and wants/needs the approval of a beautiful older, smart woman in order to be able to fully evolve into the young man he is meant to be. I can't really relate with this but-
The movie is beautifully animated though. I always wonder what makes animated cartoons better than real people. Is it the simple fact that the animation is more aesthetically appealing or is it because things are drawn in a simpler way and so easier on the mind? Either way it was easy to watch. I loved how every panel was a work of digital art. I love when anime takes their time on the scenic panels. I hope to be able to draw like this someday.
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